New Careers for Carmelo Anthony If He Never Plays in the N.B.A. Again
It’s been twelve months since we’ve seen the future Hall of Famer Carmelo Anthony play in an N.B.A. game. That’s eleven months and thirty days too long. Nobody knows what the future holds for Melo, but, even if he never puts on an N.B.A. jersey ever again, he can still succeed in many other endeavors.
New York Knicks Front Office
Carmelo revived New York basketball. The least the Knicks could do is take care of the guy who made them relevant this decade. Give him a job in the front office. He doesn’t have to be the owner. General manager or team president would be just fine. Sure, Melo doesn’t have front-office experience, but it’s always seemed like amateurs run the Knicks, anyway.
We’d love to hear Melo give his perspective on the game. Also, what does he think about the finale of “Succession”? Does he have a crazy celebrity story that he’s been dying to share? Carmelo should look into starting his own podcast—five stars, instantly.
N.B.A. players have a long history of making the leap to the big screen. And they’ve had great success with their acting roles. Michael Jordan in “Space Jam,” Shaq in “Kazaam,” Kawhi Leonard in public pretending to not be a basketball robot created in a lab—all stellar performances. Forget about an M.V.P. award—let’s get Melo an Oscar.
Carmelo has 6.7 million followers on Instagram. It’s time he leveraged that huge audience into big money by doing sponsored posts. Sell some flat-tummy tea or promote a music festival that will end in catastrophic failure. Either way, he’s got the power to make people buy stuff.
Own a Gym that Has a Weed Dispensary
The laws on marijuana have changed, and Melo can cash in by opening a gym with a basketball court which also sells weed. Smoke and Shoot, Weed and Weights, Melo’s Marijuana and Fitness Emporium—the names can be workshopped, but you get the point.
Melo’s got tons of money, so one can only assume he’s been on a yacht before. And, if you’ve been on one yacht, you’ve been on them all. He should look into selling or renting yachts to other famous people. Rich people will always need a boat on which to throw their exclusive parties. Celebrities would love to tell their party guests that they got a sweet deal on a yacht from the ten-time N.B.A. All-Star Carmelo Anthony.
“The Masked Singer”
The hottest reality show on TV could always use another big name. And nobody would ever guess correctly that Carmelo Anthony was in one of those costumes. Can Carmelo sing? We have no idea. But let’s put a big furry mask on him and find out!